Caffeine Deficiency Syndrome - 7

I have been thinking (that's usually rare and from my past experiences definitely not a good thing too) that vegetarians and non-vegetarians of the world should remain as they are to provide a balance in their numbers. I mean they shouldn't be changing their food preferences either by force or by choice. There is a perfectly good and logical explanation to keep their eating habits as they are. I think humans are here on the Earth for one simple and sole purpose only ---"To wipe out everything that has life on the face of the Earth". While vegetarians take care of wiping out all the plants, vegetation etc, the meat eaters does the same with all the animals and sea food. So at the end, the world is left with just humans and they subsequently turn cannibals and feed on each other till no one is left with the exception of Tushaar Kapoor. No worries about him, he will eventually die from humiliation.

* bangs hard the slowly dripping coffee machine screaming "Comon...give it to me fast...can't wait..give me my caffeine....you damn machine*

Super Man Returns!

"Its a bird" My SIL screamed.
"No its a Plane" My Bro corrected.
"No its a techie in khatara Mazda. Its our Super Man" He finally gets it right. Yes, its Moi in the car. I get down to action, take out the jumper cables and pops the hood of both cars and start charging his car.

"Super man does it again! He saved our world! He is our Hero" The headlines ran in the local daily thats only circulated in moi's and my bro's house. (Please to mail me for subscription)

This is a familiar scene in the past year or so where I rescued my bro's family who are in distress time and again, whether its their car problems or getting locked out of their house or a last minute pick up of a to go order from restaraunts for their parties or baby sitting my nephews.

"The rate I am resucing you guys I think I deserve a Super man costume from you" I demanded my SIL. "I feel not so supermanish with this faded jeans and jaded shirts"

"Alrite! I will get the costume but.." she stopped. Being a Super Man that I am, was quick enough to get the hint. " Ok! Ok! I will take care of the undie that's wore on top of the pants".I assured her. I heard a Phew.

"Super Man! Come over sometime this week. I will make your fav subji and pappu(daal)". She added. "Don't talk to me like that when I am on Superman duty" I said with some discomfort. She is the only person who knows my disgiuse for the outside world that I am Vemulapati Surya Venkata Satya Sai Vara Prasad and a techie boy by profession and I seriously intend to keep it that way.

Done with the job, took couple of kisshies from my nephews and with a Amitabhisque tone said to everyone "You be safe". I walked off and looked back in expectation to see my bro's family waving bye. Before I could turn back my bro drove off in a flash. so much for my Superman Image. *sigh*.

Super "Men" - Part Duex

If you remember (I would be shocked to death if you did) I have blogged about my colleague Phil who helped me a great deal to prepare for the 10 mile run in Philly back in May. Not that you care to know, but miraculously I did manage to finish the run. No, I am not revealing the time I took to finish it. Who is this voice-over guy anyway who keeps asking me these uncomfortable questions.hmm!I know. Its that Stupid conscience!. Alrite alrite,I will tell them in some other post, happy?.

Coming back to the point, before I was rudely interrupted, Phil is into his forty's and hadn't had a chance to tie the knot yet. Iam sure he did tie knots number of times, but I meant not around a girl. Hmmm! even that's not true. Phirangees don't tie the knots I guess, but you get the drift. But being in a city which has a dating scene as lively as the typical scenes in Satyajit Ray movies, he one day confided in me the tough times he is going through in getting a date. (Look what the world has come to, a white asking a single desi for tips on dating..How ironic!). Not to disappoint him and finally seeing a chance to repay the effort he put in for my run, I decided to help him out. The place I live in is a minute away from one of the busiest, happening, hep street with European style restaurants, cafes, ice cream shops and what not and of course draws all different kinds of rich people with their fancy cars. (BTW I was told that the hepness of that area took a tumbling the day I drove in my car filled with baggage). Now Phil has quite an adorable snow dog. So I put in all the things together and used my not so existent brain to come up with a plan of picking up dates using the dog as the bait in that street and somehow convinced him one day to get his dog along for dinner.

We picked the busiest restaurant and an outside table close to the street walk way. Given the dog is adorable, but I failed to take into account its 110 lbs size which freaked the hell out of all women passing by, but attracted all the men who thought having that huge dog as a sign of machoness. So there we are explaining every Tom, Dick and Harry the breed of the dog, its eating habits, the size of its pooh while all the Mona's, Liz's and Sally's would stop for a second from a distance to say "Nice doggie" before they move on fast. So much for a grand plan. What else is Phil expecting anyway, if all my plans worked the way they were supposed to I would have been in the same restaurant dining with my lovely wife and two kids by now.