Monday, May 29, 2006Gloria woke up in the middle of her sleep and asked her guy who is sleeping next to her.
"Honey? My mouth is dry. Honey. I'm thirsty.
Guy : "Umm..."
He gets up and gets a glass of water.
"There you go. honey."
Gloria responds in a angry tone.
"When I said I was thirsty ,it doesn't mean I want a glass of water.
Guy : "It doesn't?"
Gloria: "You're missing the whole point of me saying I'm thirsty. If I have a problem you're not supposed to solve it. Men always make the mistake of thinking they can solve a woman's problem.It makes them feel omnipotent."
Guy: "Omnipotent? Did you have a bad dream?"
Gloria: "It's a way of controlling a woman."
Guy: "By bringing them a glass of water?"
Gloria: "Yes.See. if I'm thirsty.I don't want a glass of water.I want you to sympathize."
"I want you to say. 'Gloria. I too know what it feels like to be thirsty. I too have had a dry mouth.' I want you to connect with me through sharing and understanding the concept of dry mouthedness. You're into control."
Guy: Shut up!
Gloria :See? You make me sick.
She rolls over to the other side.
Guy: "Don't give me the rollover. When I say I'm thirsty.it means if anybody has a glass of water. I'd love a sip.
When I say I want to make love it means. let's screw.
Gloria: "Exactly the kind of thing I thought you'd say! I don't like the word ''screw.'' OK? I prefer ''make love'' or ''fuck.''Screwing is for carpenters.
The Guy gets out of the bed in a hurry.
Gloria : "Oh. honey. Where you going?"
Guy: "Anywhere.to get the hell away from you.Psycho. Nut case."
Gloria: "Oh. come back! I want to make love! Honey. come back! I want to screw! "
she finishes in a sarcastic tone. Needless to say, she dumps him.
The guy, as typical as any man is, "realizes" his "mistake" in a day or two and comes back to her room with a guitar ,
and starts singing.
"I will never bring you water,
When you're thirsting in our bed
I Understand dry-mouthedness
And I sympathize instead
And if you take me back again
I won't be
such a slob-- "
Gloria is all thrilled and says as much in her words
The guy looses his money in a Basketball bet with his friend and Gloria steps in and pushes him to get the money back.
Guy : "A man cannot ask for his money back.Honey! you don't understand.Men understand how these things work.Let me explain. Men's rules are very simple.If you win. you win.If you lose. you lose.You don't ask for the money back."
Gloria : "Why not?"
Guy :"It's not part of the rules."
Gloria :"Yeah? I got a different set of rules.Sometimes when you win,you really lose.Sometimes when you lose,you really win. Sometimes when you win or lose,you actually tie.Sometimes when you tie,you actually win or lose."
Guy : "I hate it when you talk like that.It makes me crazy when you talk like that."
Gloria : "Winning and losing is one big organic globule from which one extracts what one needs."
Guy nods his head much to the delight of Gloria."
Such a happy couple you would think. The story ends with Gloria dumping him. I thought as much when the guy messed up with the thirsty thingy earlier and I should have stuck to watching the NBA playoff's even though its the boring Pistons.
* Excerpts from the movie "White men Can't Jump".*
by gvenum @ 10:00 PM 7 comments