New Age Ramayan!

For it may be the most popular mythological story, but I have to say Ramayan is the most abused of the lot. The other day there was this Diwali mela in the Cowboys stadium and the organizers had played Ramleela with actors playing the Ramayan characters. While Ram, Laxman and Seetha were in a corner offering autographs to the kids that occasionally passed by, the ten-headed Ravana on the other hand is swamped by at least 50 kids and elders begging for autographs and pictures. Needless to say we had a pretty good snap with the monster. The Ramayan effect lingered on with my nephews (A and N), as they had their own version to tell, perhaps the most disturbing one at that. Read this, SIL is Kausalya , A and N are Raam and Laxman and my bro is Seetha. Yesh! you read it right. The only seetha with a moustache! eeew! Double eeew!

A: SeethaDevi , SeethaDevi I will save you!
N: SeethaDevi , SeethaDevi I will save you! (being the younger he repeats what ever A has to say)

They get SeethaDevi (urf Bro) to the kitchen.

A: SeethaDevi you stay here . I will go and fight more demons!
SeethaDevi/Bro: Okie! Till you come back I will finish the dishes Raama! (smart move I have to say)
A: Okie! (Picks his bow which is a fly squatter and N picks a broom and move on to fight the demons in the living room)

After a while they rush back to the kitchen.

A: SeethaDevi, you come with us, we will fight Ravana together. Where is your bow?
Bro: SeethaDevi doesn't fight. She does not use bow and arrows. She is a girl.
A: SeethaDevi , you drink lot of choclate milk and get stronger and then you can fight with Bow and arrows. I will help you.

Meanwhile Kousalya warms the couch switching between Food and Home network channels. Oh well! you know Kousalya!, her job is done before the story even gets going. The best role she ever enjoyed so far.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention, at the end of the Diwali fest, we caught Seetha, Ravana and Hanuman walking next to each other laughing away to glory, while Ram and Laxman were seen sitting quiet in a corner with their bows and arrows thrown away on the floor. Yesh! Kaliyug this is and quite a ghor one too!

Gum Hai Kisike Pyar Mein!

The me is back. No more whining, griping and all that nice stuff. I thought for a change I would write about this song which has been on my player in repeat mode for last couple of days. This song is one of the most melodious and beautiful song composed by none other than the ridiculously gifted and my all time favorite composer Panchem. Written by the legend Majrooh Sultanpuri, this song brings back the memories of DD's Sunday movie nights where the Kapoor family's "who's who" used to be the common feature along with the other crap they usually dish out (aka Rajendra Kumar). I am not sure if Rajendra Kumar has ever acted in songs composed by RD, I guess he didn't otherwise I would have had a very horrific images of the past.

Another insanely talented singer Kishore teamed up with Lata (I would have really wished for Asha for this one) to render this master piece from a forgetful movie Raampur ka Lakshman. Now that I have successfully insulted your knowledge about this song and the supporting cast by providing the customary details I will stop. As you can see I did my desi grocery shopping and loaded with enough Bru.

                             gum hai kisii ke pyaar men,
                             dil subah shaam
                             par tumhen likh nahiin paaun,
                             main usakaa naam

                             sochaa hai ek din main usase milake
                             kaha Daaluun apane sab haal dil ke
                             aur kar duun jeevan usake havaale
                             phir chhod de chaahe apanaa banaa le
                             main to usaka hain hua deewana
                             ab to jaise bhii meraa ho anjaam

                             chaahaa hai tumane jis baavari ko
                             vo bhi sajanavaa chaahe tumhiin ko
                             nainaa uthaae to pyaar samjho
                             palaken jhukaa de to iqaraar samjho
                             rakhati hai kab se chhupaa chhupaa ke
                             apane honThon men piyaa teraa naam


Subtle feelings beautifully expressed.

Caffeine Deficiency Syndrome - 10

I feel desis have a weird way of showing empathy. So weird it doesnot even make sense sometimes. So I bump into a friend and tell him my problems like "Hey! You know my Green card process is stuck and its going nowhere ". He/she would reply "You should be happy. Mine hasn't started yet!". or when I say " I have been stressed out lately working late till 7". Phat comes the reply "Big deal! We have been working past 10 for the past year. You shouldn't be worried".

Huh! How does my buddy's misery make me happy! It will make me worse that my good friend is going through such stress. Or does he think I am such an evil person who takes pleasure from his friend's pathetic situation. If I am sad, I would like to see at least my friend happy so I can feed off from him/her. Okie, you might think that sharing own happiness, when you find your friend sad, might come across as rude , then say nothing. But why assume such a low opinion of your friend. Weird I say!

BTW, I am out of Coffee powder at home for the past 2 days and the coffee at work is yuk! I want my Bruuuu!

Eye Candy!

People People! Since when did my blogs start to make a point to have those expectations that you expressed in my previous post. Hmm! hann! bolo bolo! Alrite to make up for all the mess my previous post created in your minds, here's something that will make you feel diabatically sweet.
If I you ever come across this girl, please tell her I am carrying a ring for her! Wilya!

"Lets Screw"

Gloria woke up in the middle of her sleep and asked her guy who is sleeping next to her.

"Honey? My mouth is dry. Honey. I'm thirsty.
Guy : "Umm..."

He gets up and gets a glass of water.

"There you go. honey."

Gloria responds in a angry tone.

"When I said I was thirsty ,it doesn't mean I want a glass of water.

Guy : "It doesn't?"

Gloria: "You're missing the whole point of me saying I'm thirsty. If I have a problem you're not supposed to solve it. Men always make the mistake of thinking they can solve a woman's problem.It makes them feel omnipotent."

Guy: "Omnipotent? Did you have a bad dream?"

Gloria: "It's a way of controlling a woman."

Guy: "By bringing them a glass of water?"

Gloria: "Yes.See. if I'm thirsty.I don't want a glass of water.I want you to sympathize."

She continues.

"I want you to say. 'Gloria. I too know what it feels like to be thirsty. I too have had a dry mouth.' I want you to connect with me through sharing and understanding the concept of dry mouthedness. You're into control."

Guy: Shut up!

Gloria :See? You make me sick.

She rolls over to the other side.

Guy: "Don't give me the rollover. When I say I'm thirsty.it means if anybody has a glass of water. I'd love a sip.
When I say I want to make love it means. let's screw.

Gloria: "Exactly the kind of thing I thought you'd say! I don't like the word ''screw.'' OK? I prefer ''make love'' or ''fuck.''Screwing is for carpenters.

The Guy gets out of the bed in a hurry.

Gloria : "Oh. honey. Where you going?"

Guy: "Anywhere.to get the hell away from you.Psycho. Nut case."

Gloria: "Oh. come back! I want to make love! Honey. come back! I want to screw! "

she finishes in a sarcastic tone. Needless to say, she dumps him.


Scene 2:

The guy, as typical as any man is, "realizes" his "mistake" in a day or two and comes back to her room with a guitar ,
and starts singing.

"I will never bring you water,

When you're thirsting in our bed

You know

I Understand dry-mouthedness

And I sympathize instead

And if you take me back again

I won't be
such a slob-- "


Gloria is all thrilled and says as much in her words

"Let's screw."


Scene 3:

The guy looses his money in a Basketball bet with his friend and Gloria steps in and pushes him to get the money back.

Guy : "A man cannot ask for his money back.Honey! you don't understand.Men understand how these things work.Let me explain. Men's rules are very simple.If you win. you win.If you lose. you lose.You don't ask for the money back."

Gloria : "Why not?"

Guy :"It's not part of the rules."

Gloria :"Yeah? I got a different set of rules.Sometimes when you win,you really lose.Sometimes when you lose,you really win. Sometimes when you win or lose,you actually tie.Sometimes when you tie,you actually win or lose."

Guy : "I hate it when you talk like that.It makes me crazy when you talk like that."

Gloria : "Winning and losing is one big organic globule from which one extracts what one needs."

Guy nods his head much to the delight of Gloria."

Such a happy couple you would think. The story ends with Gloria dumping him. I thought as much when the guy messed up with the thirsty thingy earlier and I should have stuck to watching the NBA playoff's even though its the boring Pistons.

* Excerpts from the movie "White men Can't Jump".*

Caffeine Deficiency Syndrome - 9

We all know how much women hate to be judged, they have walked away from marriages, relationships, called all men pigs and what not because they have been judged or guys have been "Judgemental" in dealing with them. Suprise! Suprise! All this judginggiri does not even come in their way at all when it comes to dating Judges (of court) or lawyers even though they live, prosper and get ultimate reverence, admiration by judging other people. You often hear some women coyly say " I am engaged to a Judge you know!. He is the most respected man one can get. He has such cool style while judging others. I am so happy". What hypocrisy!

*grudgingly sips coffee from the mug and ponders "hmm! did I take my dose of antibiotics for sore throat today"*

Aye karamba!

Hey Hey! I am back. I thought I would pull a dissapearing act on you people. But then realized that you won't would give a damm. So promptly got back in action. Not that you would care for that either. How do I get into this kind of situations. Shuks! Yanyway! I thought I would write a post wishing you all a Happy Ugadi, so by the time I decided to post it turned out to be Tamil/Mallu new year. Happy new year to all of you folks!

I also missed celebrating my second year anniversary in february. Yay! My blog is 2 rather 2.15 years old . Two years have gone by and still nothing worthwhile on this blog. I will be really suprised if I have the same readers till now. If they do , I am really thankful for putting up with my writing all this while.

Alrite people! Before I vanish again into oblivion, I want to live up to my reputation of dishing out crap. Here's a picture I got from a friend (no originality there as well) that would make all the fairer sex feel great and un-fair gents get the nervous blushes.

"Edge Designs is a company run by all women - they design office interiors. They recently had an opportunity to do a project in NYC where the client offered the women of this company a "free hand" in all design aspects. The client was also a company that was run by all female execs! Here's the result when they tried their hand in designing Men's rest room"